4 a.m.

It's 3:49 and I still cant get to sleep I pray for the monsters under my feet To take me away from this place called silence Stare at the celing hoping for it to collapse Maybe the spiders will finally come to entrap Their last meal on earth before falling to their deaths The blades of the fan that spin so close to my head Remind me of the places I fear and I dread The paradise that only us fragments can comprehend The paper I write on was once a majestic tree Now look at this its death is now tormenting me For my thoughts are written on beauty's fatality I could go on forever its the way that I am Drama filled till the day that I should come to an end And maybe I can get as far as that final dream I'm staring at eyes with no soul to give back A mural of immortality it surely lacks The reflection I come to realize is that of my own face Six stanzas in and my hands wearing on down But I cant stop now without making a terrible sound An injustice that rings clear as a bell The flaws that are now so clear to see Are here all around if you'd only listen to me I'm perfection in an imperfect form Get used to this its the best that it'll get Try so hard to change and always come to regret That your best was never that great now was it 2 pages long and ten minutes later I'll remember the reason that I'm the creator Of the disater that lies here before you I try and I try and I get nowhere fast Its like going downhill but speeding towards the past Take a step forward but so much more back Stuck in a hole looking for a way out Of a life you know just nothing about You've tried and just failed one more time Seventeen later and I know I've just gone way too far Walking backwards and into that jar That you've labeled love whats left now but beg for air Sit on the desk of the office that we once called life The shadows creep over as I see your wife I grow colder and watch you both fade into reason Now I sit in this jar that was once labeled love Its so dusty and ugly just give it a shove To awaken the life left in me The glass shatters as the jar finally slams to the floor Now I'm begging and screaming and asking for more More abuse from the life that I thought I once knew So I sit and obey pick up shards of my home I then hear the sounds of my own metronome This lullaby will surely put me to sleep As I lay my head down for the rest of the day I'm reminded of words you used to say For this very same reason You'd say dont worry everything's going to be fine Its you and me baby till the end of the line The clock keeps ticking and you're still not here Dont worry now everything is just fine I'm unhappy and alone for the rest of all time And nothing you say will change that Its 4 a.m. and of course I'm still here But you know I'll never be close or as near To the things we both dreamed of So I'll write and I'll ponder these wonderful thoughts Making sense of the senseless my soul has just bought Around 4 a.m. my mind is drifting Six pages and just enough papercuts after I read this and soon hear my own laughter This is what happens when I'm allowed ink Six pages long and many minutes later I've remembered the reason why im the creator Of the disaster that lies here before you My words all alone mean nothing to you So I'll stick them on paper but I'll hold the glue Their power is enough to know you senseless These thoughts you can see are so crazy and wild What you get when you deal with an only child A girl all alone in a big world This girl's last and only escape Was to write how each day caught her just at the nape And forced her to listen What she heard was a beautiful thing If you listen its like when the angels will sing The name of this final song was serenity