The Dance, by Liberty or Death
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Over the years
I have seen
Faces with tears
Shouts
And screams
Eyes filled with nothing but sadness
Faces shadowed from all the madness
Words told from a lie
Some wanting to lay down and die
Drugs taken to shield the pain
Alcohol swallowed to numb the brain
Thoughts drift inside a head
Empty enough to be considered dead
Objects sway as vision blurs
Things can't seem to get much worse
Hearing grows while smell fades
It's gone too far for medicine's aid
Actions become a game of chance
To them it's just a little dance
A dance with a gambler
The gambler a killer
A killer in many ways
A gambler who'll play for days
To dance all night
Means to play with death
So what will they do?
When it's their last breath.... |
| Posted: 2006-08-14 04:32:37 UTC |
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| 2006-08-14 07:52:55 | User |
| I am not sure why I can't relate at all,
I am usually able to relate to many poems but..one thing I can tell you...rhyming is not a must in a poem.. |
| 2006-08-15 18:40:20 | Liberty or Death |
| It's actually a poem of someone else's life that I've seen. I know rhyming isn't a must, but every time I right a poem I try to rhyme automaticaly. I'll keep your advise in mind the next time I right a poem. Thank you for your comment! |
| 2006-09-15 17:17:32 | Faith |
| It's not a bad poem though... |
| 2006-10-31 06:18:19 | lost the lonely dead |
| the ryhming issue asside, it doesnt seem to flow rythmically very well, the intro is pretty good...if i were doing it id maybe try:
Over the years
Ive seen
faces with tears
shouts
and some screams
eyes, filled with the nothingness
only sadness
faces, carefully shaded shadows
hidden from maddness
wanting only to lay down, and die
drugs for the brain and
brain for drugs
yet a little liquor to feed the numbness
thoughts drift in and out
clinically, emptily dead
objects sway in blurriness
scent giving way to noise
medicated beyond a chance at hope
poker-faced reality seeps into this dreamworld
but its only a dance one little dance
nothing but a gamble nothing really
gambling for the souls of idiots
the gameplay never ending
a dance that goes on spinning
intending to tease death
so what'll they do?
last breath's on their lips...
what could save them then?
anyhow just a thought...nothing more really |
| 2009-10-28 23:22:55 | Moon |
| I can't explain how well written it is |