Scared.

Im scared to le someone love me. Im scared im going to get hurt, or worse im going to hurt them. I wish that life could be as simple as we think it is. I have been in kiddie love before and they hurt me real bad. Im just now getting to where im letting guys tell me things like that again because i dont want to be hurt. Im in love right now and i love it but im also kinda worried if its going to last or not and if its not then i dont want to be hurt again. The stupid crap you do when you get hurt. I cut, smoked, drinked and everything else that i could think of to get away from the pain but nothing would let the oain go because i knew that i still loved him and hes an ass but in the end we would be friends after all that bull shit was gone but i thought wrong. Me and him never talk anymore. I go to school with him so i see him everyday and it kills me even though i have moved on. Could i still be in love with him? Or do i just hate him so much that all i feel is pain? I dont know he just looks at me everytime that i see him and i want to cry but i dont. why am i so scared?