merely a pon in pain

she asks for my opinion i don't know what to say what does she expect from me? i cann't give advice in something i don't believe is love really worth fighting for? is it worth all this pain? why cann't this all just go away? would my life really be easier if i just went away? things happen for a reason! then whats the fucking reason for this pain? i won't die but i won't live what is the difference anyways? who gives a fuck anyways? she asks for my opinion i don't know what to say leave her and run away with me is what is tearing inside of me it is what i really want to say i don't know what to tell you i hurt really bad there are voices in my head that only make me sad i wish you only happiness i wish you only the best after all is said and done will you remain my friend i hate these feelings i wish they will just leave but that means loosing you and i rather just loose me you ask for my opinion and an opionion i will give would you like honesty? or do you prefer fantasy? i am sorry for making you think like you don't think enough what the hell is your problem make up your fucking mind! you drive my fucking nuts! i am sorry for the anger i am sorry for your pain for once you are the one with the bad name it doesn't feel very good does it? i mean, not getting what you want it's like running in place for hours and all you get as a prize is a pain on your side. like a stab from a knife. coincedence,i think not. you don't ask for my opinion did you get tired of hearing the truth? why did you have to lie to me? why did you have to increase the pain? when will you learn to play the game? or is it i who has not found the way i don't know what to tell you i cann't seem to explain... how i feel inside is nothing but pain. i love you and yet i hate the way you are you are the queen on the chess board and I? merely a pon in pain.