for fear of who reads
i stopped writing
in here
for fear of admitting
saddness i allowed
myself to disappear.

but now im back
and i have realized
happiness is
just media's disguise.

define for me
joy
define for me
where i can but this item
tell me who i am
what i am
where i go
and what i do
media..
my sole resource
how i turned my back on you.

and now becuase
without you i have no map
no life, no concept
i dont know what happiness is.

sad o think
that someone has to define this
emotion for some
when others have 
learned to find their
own happiness in anti-media wear.

but drugs arent my choice
nor is kinky crazy wild sex
parties and boys
are not what i want.
so what do i want?
normality
i guess then
i'll have to lve
in another reality..

normal is something i just am not
i guess when i was made
God kinda forgot...
oh well.

kyelle