my life is so confusing
i don't know where to start
i guess i'll start with my friends
not really my favorite part
my friends are really sweet to me 
even if im not worth their time
they always judge who i am 
and it gets really annoying 
it makes me feel not worthy
what i think is wierd is that they just judge only me
not anyone else
sometimes i wonder if i'm that much of a pushover
cuz when they say those hurtful words
i just curl up and wither
like the person i must seem
it frustrates me that i can't speak up
but the use my words are like dust
picked up and thrown away 
or shoved under the rug just to hide me
alone
but also i feel like a total different person
out going and loud
that says 'no on can stop me cuz they don't know how!'
i want to be that mystery no one can solve
but still be a great person
responsible and has a great attitude
and not the person i am now
the procrastinator 
the nobody
the ugly one
why can't people see
that i want to be me
i want to say what i want to say
be who I want to be
and never turn back
beacuse this is how i feel
what are YOU gonna do now?