Closed In

Emotions hide inside. Deep. So deep there's only one way to let them free, really. Maybe more than one. The more sensible one would be pen to paper, i suppose. Not enough i fear though. My mind rushes along with adrenaline in my veins. I pick it up. My partner in crime. Run the tip of it across my skin. Collect my thoughts and tease myself with the knife. Sometimes i want to cut deep. So deep that it reaches my hidden thoughts and emotions. I beg for the blood to trickle down my skin already. But the knife isn't deep enough yet. Now? Can i saddisfy my needs now? I suppose it would be alright. Yes. Now's perfect. A straight line. On the lower left side of my stomach. God, this feels great. Close to dead inside till this moment. So liberating. I need to come back to reality. I hate these stupid fucking feelings that won't let me be. No clue really how to rid them. This is the only way i really know how to. Everything else won't work for me. Even 5 minutes of peace will do. That's about 5 minutes more of happiness.