hate

you have ruined me i have come undone because of you it was all you and it is too dark i am out of my skin uncomfortable unaccustomed you have uprooted me from the place that was so familiar and it is too cold you have taken everything the words of regret stab into me and i am not in existence not anymore thanks to you or no thanks i should never have looked you in the eyes and if i could take everything back i would try oh, how i would try because the memory of you has haunted me it has haunted me in my sleep a smell the back of a stranger's head and you come to mind again i don't want to think about it no, i don't want to think about it anything but this anything but you do not flatter yourself; i do not fear you i only dread the memories that i was so accustomed to now i am left here, in this foreign place with nothing to hold on to i have no grip, no life, no hope you have taken everything and i want to be rid of you and your smile your voice - your whisper i hate you maybe not maybe i don't i've never despised anyone before and i will not start with you