The dream

I woke up, I smell the coffee
A smile spreads across my lips
Butter on knife, dreamt of hips
God i'm tired, I need a coffee

I go down the stairs, handrail
13 steps, the stairs, haybails
In the field behind the house
Its autumn, hello fieldmouse

My kitchen, warm, inviting 
A sweet smell, nice, enticing
My brothers, seated like guards
Each side of the table, guards

My dad smiles from behind the paper
Finding films we'll all watch later
My mum, heavenly mum, cooking mum
Hello mum, coffee mum, cooking mum

She hugs me, I smell her famliar light smell
She tugs me, my ear, not washed, might smell
I go and wash my hands, my troubles away
We sit down, a family, breakfast today

I leave to walk with my big brother
All say pleasent goodbyes, oh brother
I forgot my lunch, oh, thank you mother
She hands it, waves us off, our mother


The reality

I wake up, smelt the coffee
My smile dissapears from my lips
Blood on a knife, dreamt of strife
God i'm tired, I hate coffee

I stumble down the stairs, gloomily
13 steps, the stairs, eternity
In the field behind my house, 
It's winter, freeze fieldmouse

My kitchen, a mire, disgusting
A putrid smell, sweet, festering
My brothers, seated like gargoyles
Scowling at the table, gargoyles

My dad, jaundiced eye behind the paper
Finding films he'll miss later, working
Mum? Heavenly mum? Missing mum
Her outline on the mirror, missing mum

No one hugs me, gone is her distant smell
This bugs me, my fear, not washed, might smell
I go and wash my hands, ignored tears in the mirror
We sit down, broken jigsaw, missing piece not here

I leave alone to walk with my memories
No goodbye to leave with, just memories
I forgot my happiness, oh, thank you mother
You took it, wave me off now, our mother