and i thought
it would be perfect
and i was blinded
by the truth
it was planned
for me in mind
and i was selfish
and so now you stay
behind.

i wonder why
it is you think
i hate you now
becuase i dont.
i just, want to
be myself
and not be
exposed to the stuff.

and he cant come
becuase his friend
comes first
you look at me
like why i take his lies
and i guess then
i have to say
i trust him
and just fuck off
okay?

i wanted
this to be perfect
forgetting perfect
isn't real
i guess though
you'll never
quite
understand
just what emotions
right now i feel.

am i not
good enough
to hang with sober?
am i not
good enough
for you?

im sorry
that i changed
and i like to think
i grew up
im sorry okay?
IM SORRY
and i dont fucking hate you.

but you know
what?
if this is how it is
maybe i dont
want you there
anyway.

xoxo
Ellie J