why does everything seem so fake? 
why do i feel like everyone is just saying things to humour
me? 
why can't i see the dream that i wrote about? 
why does it feel like my life is going nowhere? 
why do i fear rejection when he assures me he's going
nowhere? 
why do i think that eventually he will run? 
why do i find it hard to believe that he really does love me
and its not just a sick game? 
why am i so scared of what the future may hold? 
why does the past affect my thinking today? 
why don't i know what to do with my life despite my dreams
and aspirations? 
why did i have to get rid of her and create the new one? 
why am i like i am? 
why can't i change? 
why do i feel like i fail him in everything i do? 
why do i feel i have to prove myself to everyone, especially
him? 
why did they have to die? 
why do i spend my life thinking about death when it is that
which i am so afraid of? 
why do i think about the fact i might not be able to have
kids? 
why am i so stupid? 
why is my family falling apart? 
why am i to blame for everything? 
why can't everyone just leave me alone?