sunbeat / moonbeat

sunbeat / to shoppers drug mart catholic guilt and a hypothetical but already written letter and whatever i'd carry inside me and whatever i would never the time sensitive destruction of nothing more than cells and tissue the understanding of the cruel impulse of life as a bargaining chip and more examples, and to hate to know many of what i'd let you do to me and how much of my life is open to disruption but not recognition never interpretation and the corrosive stagnant heavy deep black grey pain of getting to know you and shedding layers i never knew were even gone until i took the hit right to the chest and there was nothing else to cushion and the small puddles of blood in this never-spoken not quite love but barely sordid sad affair and your pillows and my pills and i'd rather kiss your cheek and how much worse that really is and the questions to the robots and the artificial wings and the knowledge in my gut turned lack of evidence to give and the love waiting at home the one bedroom of it all and the lightness of the music behind tender painful touch and i walk my way from work trying hard to think you not moonbeat / to lucy dacus playing write me poems make me coffee treat me like you never knew me so i can remake your mind up see my movies hear my music fight me, ramble take me whole pick me up from days of work let me let you get to know me maybe you should know it too what it is to become smaller wonder who i love the most and build a world of inside jokes and split the morning after pill and tell me when you didnt cum tell me all about your sisters what your parents did to you why that picture in the hallway where the nickname could've come from have opinions on my friends i don't even need to know yours i would hate to interrupt but ask me everything about me! hand me things around the house! lemme see how you chop veggies what spices you like the most let your questions be less thorough let me answer make you bored i'll tell you the real stories what's behind this scar, that bruise you know i'd let you hurt me and i'm sure i will hurt you but no we aren't ever swapping blood lets be awkward at the wedding and reception way too drunk tell them we tried being "friends"and it never, really, worked