work in progress

I feel like I am short of breath. My lungs are deflated, can you relate? l gasp for air, my lungs reaching out for air. It feels like a block of steal is on my chest. Is this a test to see how long I can go on with shit like this? I know I am being tested. What other options do I have than to believe so? I want it, this feeling squealing problem of mine, to go. Show me how to make it so. I will sing it if you show me, can't you see I am on me knee begging you to kill me? Can't you just pump it into my deflated lungs so I can breathe, just breathe. I feel like the steel block is becoming heavier. It will crush me, thrust me into earth, I feel the bones giving in, as I am. I am gasping for air, can't you see it! I am laying here with no air, no pulse, with a steel block on me. Am I not here? I am like a ghost, supposed to disappear? I feel like you ignore my cry for help, like I am a ghost : visiting those who refuse to acknowledge my existence. What does it take for you to see? My slit wrists? A rope around my neck? The steel block crushing me even more? I am on my knee begging you, can't you see? Are you so blind, or is it that you don't want to help me? I implore you, can't you see, can't you hear it? Shit man, I need help, I cry aloud for help! Is that so hard to see, that I need help!?! I reach out my arm for you to take. My lungs deflated, the steel block having nearly succeeded if you maintain your course of ignoring.