For You

In the movies they drink for peace, to calm their waking nightmares. The actors have shaking voics and desperate tears in their eyes. At the first party they hand out red cups smelling fire. "It's for fun," they promise as you gulp down gasoline. At first it slips down your throat, whispering promises that have already been broken. Your head, for once, lightens. They say alcohol numbs it all. The pain inside and out is gone. Emotions fade to you as the kids around laugh the night away. "It's for fun," they swore as the drinks kept finding your mouth. "You'll be okay," they said as your vision tripled. What they never say is that alcohol only numbs for so long. When you wither away inside, only a drink makes you feel alive. You go about your day, throbbing headache and a stone heart. Your hands shake as you grab your nightly bottled escape. You haven't laughed in months but God, vodka makes you. You forgot how warm tears are, whiskey reminds you. In the movies they drink for peace. In real life you drink to feel your still heart gallop again as though you're resurrected. At the last party they do shots with bloodshot eyes and teary grins "It's for you," they whisper, knowing even booze won't bring you back.