I almost lost her, by Justin Subscribe to rss feed for Justin

She's been here by my side through the years of my life,
that i endeavored utmost, 
since maturing into society,
so naive to think,
 i could win her heart, 
then lock it away, 
rarely exposing it to the light of day, 
while selflessly giving away,
the reason it is okay to be apart every weekday,
then selfishly allowing her beauty,
to be dragged through the river of lies,stories, irksome
weekends, letdowns, fabricated money trails, monontonous
excuses, an tireless monotony,
a spiral so quick and so steep,
lost in a persistent need,
to give the devil his daily feed,
self medicating a ghost,
my soul was starting to roast,
Her heart is not veal so why did i prepare it, 
for a life in that way, locked in a safe,
time doesn't idle it melts away,
the eight lines and 36 words of graphite, 
waisted selfishly explaining, my selfish,
and selfless years denying her, my soulmate,
true love, the foundation we had was stronger than ever,
but these walls were infected and slowly deteriorating, 
to be clear; it is not the point of where, 
in our life our future was destined,
only that i established this realization years, 
before the infant stages of the precipitous corkscrew, 
down to my nethermost point,
When you fall in love, and are not lying to each other,
there is usually one point in the past,
when thought about that literally sends,
your body into complete serotonin overload, and
as crippling and debilitating as it is,
you always remember the first time,
i never told her the exact time,
i knew i needed her to be mine, forever,
sharing every second of our lives together,
with enough alone time to keep resentment at bay,

When the chains finally gave way,
and my shores flooded with her malice
i stayed tied to land by a fragile rope,
twined from evasion and distraction,
material that never lasts, it was bound to shred,
building resentment that wasn't real,
ignoring resentment that i couldn't feel,
with the rope pulled so tight,
the water raising every night, 
grasping for air became harder as the days passed by,
with the end in sight, knowing it wasn't right,
my inner limits pushed to the extremity,
no more lies, fake reasons and hate,
the realization was so clear, 
The truth would set me free,
and hopefully give us the remedy,
i took one deep breath and let her in on all the secrets,
the devil and i thought we could hide,
my honesty was so sharp with details,
it cut right through the rope that,
has been holding me down midst her,
buildup of hate for who i was not,
with my mind now clear, and her hear now free,
the floods dissipate and now i can see,
right there, not a mile from me,
closer to the sea, next to the OD,
I fall to the ground, as my spine refuses me,
then, comes the feeling once lost, as
i lay there the connections are made,
revitalization of that sensation commences,
the one i swore would never fade,
its the moment where she tickled my soul,
that feeling in the pit of your stomach,
like a million butterflies loose, and 
on fire, filling your insides with warmth,
a feeling that you never knew until that second of time,
At that moment, her palms flat agains my back, and
my fingers gliding through her silky midnight hair,
finally resting them softly on her,
devastatingly perfect check lines, i 
gracefully grazed my thumbs up and down her neck,
enamored by her beauty,
i could not pull myself in to kiss her,
i did not want her image out of focus,
At that moment, she was everything i 
never knew i needed, then
just when things couldn't get any more right,
like when then was pulled into the orbit of earth,
our movements, our timing, we met so elegantlly,
precisely midway between where our eyes locked, aligned 
perfectly one minute prior when our souls,
first coalesced in a way that felt so,
natural and pure my body went numb,
and i swore for that minute the universe stood still, 
a portrait for the ages like van goghs starry night,
the landscape beyond her glowing physiognomy, so
radiantly perfect, an artists dream, then
a cosmic shift jumpstarts idle time,
our heads are brought into the same orbit,
as the force pulls us in our lips fuse together, 
as innately as a day old puppy paddeling in water,
An explosion occurred next of epic proportions,
the once still landscape is now spinning,
so fast that i should be dizzy, but just as before
as the universe spun out of control, we lifted
hovering in bliss, drunk on our love, 
we slowly descended, 
as our feet planted on the ground, and 
time synchronized to reality, everything dissappeared, 
There i lay paralyzed on the ground staring,
down a barrel of a gun where the realization started,
the choices were clear,
my decision was made,
the galaxy needs our cosmic alignment,
the trail back has started to be paved,
my soul released, free from him and 
to begin redeeming every wrong turn i made,
in a relationship built a foundation thats covered,
with walls i have to tear down,
and expose the plans i once had, 
to make the princess in my life,
A Queen, so everyone knows she is my wife.  

It won't be say, i know this,
she was worth pouring every ounce of energy i had, to 
convince her that i was worth the first try,
this time should be easy,
i found the manual i started years ago,
buried deep somewhere i didn't go,
it was always there,
where did i go?
Now its so easy to see, she has always been the one and only
precious for me.  
  
Posted: 2015-04-24 17:39:10 UTC

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