inside my head

I feel likeim losing control, my mind working overtime- justifying things I know, in my heart would feel like a crime- how did I let it come this far, one day wife and mother, the next loving another- I was the good girl who would never stray- I find myself falling, slowly drifting away- Something is missing and I keep trying ti fill a void- never ending pain and sadness am I just paranoid- my kids were my evrrything, now their all grown- they dont need mommy, they can do it all on their own- now I sit idle with too much time on my hands- ive waited years to be free from all lifes demands- too much free time is not always the best thing- trouble is brewing and I can see the damage it brings- Slowly sinking into the abyss of anothers charms- contemplating waking up in his arms- knowing its not right, but who is going to find out- this is the lie that taunts me, whats that all about- telling me its ok to cheat just once but thats it- I know its the work of satan and he can save his bullshit-