I Didn't Believe It

At 2 AM when my makeup was smudged and my hair a mess, you looked at me with bright eyes, and called me beautiful. I didn't believe it, but my heart leapt. At 11 PM when I was sad you looked at my tears and you made me laugh until 3 AM and I was okay. I admired you then, but I didn't say it. At 8 PM when I wanted to die and I reached for the blade, you looked at my fears and called me strong. I didn't believe it, but I stopped reaching. At 9 AM when I was afraid, when I was trembling with terror, you looked at my panic and called me brave. I didn't believe you, but my breathing slowed. At 2 AM when my eyes were drooping and I was pouring my heart out, you looked at my soul and called me beautiful. I didn't believe you, but I didn't argue. At 2 AM when we were talking and sharing small stories I looked at your face and thought you were beautiful. I didn't say it, but my heart ached. At 10 PM when you fumbled your words, I looked at your smile and I said to you God you're amazing. You didn't believe it, but I do. At 11 PM when you let go of your baggage and looked sad, I looked at your heart and called you strong. You didn't believe it, but I know the truth. At 1 AM when you slipped and said you loved me, I looked in your eyes and said you like me. I was amazed because I believed it. At 11 PM when I gave you my fragile glass heart, you looked at it gently, and said you'll protect it. I was amazed because I trusted your word. At 9 PM when my lips ached to touch yours, my tears spilled and you looked at me and called me wonderful. I didn't believe it, but my breath caught. At 4 AM when I was devoid and blank, you looked at me like your heart was cracking and said you were scared. I believed it, but I didn't feel it. At 9 PM when 16 shallow lines were tracked along my skin, you looked at me and your eyes swam with pain. I was sorry, you believed it. At 12 AM when you called me beautiful, strong, wonderful, and smart, I looked at you and was silent. I didn't believe it, but I'm starting to.