Lord is our relationship real?
At least on my end
Cause I feel as if i'm just pretending
Trying so hard to shed tears through this pain
With no gained interest from my heart
I've started 
My spiritual detour 
With no GPS
God's Protectitive Sheild
Lord when I fall to my face 
Am I falling in your Grace 
Or falling to the place gravity choose not to elevate
Maybe I should find my fetal position
And pronounce my fear
Is this the life of my New Birth
Or am I just an Avatar waiting to awake from life's
wilderness
Is this real Lord?
I suffer 
And try to remain calm
But my peace is disturbed by my Praise
Because my Praise is raised in morning
Internal weeping, and non-dependable doubt
I crowd this bond with thoughts of opposition
Wishing I could be perfect
To avoid living to prove worthiness 
To a God I truly want 
With no feelings to show my vocal expression
Maybe I should quit
Without a white flag
Cause I'm too weak to hold up my surrender 
If your the healer
Why am I still sick of myself
See when I die
I want to cry the moment before
And tour the timeline of my sorrows
With Faith as my escort
Cause I can rely on that 
To get me back 
In time to close my eyes
I'm on shames hospital bed
Without a nurse to exam my countless worries
I thought You were my shot of Joy
All I got was a meal full of guilt
And a pan to piss my life away in
I need surgery
And Your hands are gifted
But I'm too lifted in this random high
To realize that your just preparing me for my worldy demise
May I please cry?
Just supply the tears
And I'll shed them
They were lost souls
And I led them
Fill my Faiths holes
So I don't drain out 
Laid out is my flesh
And in my flesh
Satan rests at the sound of resistance
And its hard to resist temptation 
Cause patience is practiced in my spirit
Therefore I remain playing tug of war 
With consequences and possibilities 
I'm getting pulled into the middle
And that's a pit of Endless hope
This rope
Is attached to my neck
Wrapped in the tightest soul tie
If I break this, then I break me
If You break this, then I break free
Where are you Lord
Cause this real is all I see
Answer this
And I'll take You in all Three