This pain becomes so overbearing at times
As I am faced to realize that I have become a new person
It is hard to be set in front of those that I love and show
them who I truly am
I have no smoke screen, no addiction, no childhood to hide
behind
It is only me at the end of the day that shine through
windows of true clarity
And as this grimy sun shines through that window
I am forced to see what I truly am
Nothing but half a person who try’s so hard to take on the
world’s burdens
And when the world become too much it is I who pays the
price
Not in currency but in blood, sweat and tears
That I have mostly already given to another life That will
never be mine again
I sit and dwell in a head that is beyond tainted
But I smile and put on the show like a well-composed
entertainer
And when it is all said and done it is then in that moment I
feel like me again
Comfortable in the skin I am in, allowed to be what I am
with no judgment
And Then I take a deep breath as my next performance is
forced to be performed
When will the torment and torture of this life be enough?
Those questions I should never ask
But here I am on my knees begging God for a reason
And the window is like a flipping page of desire
As seasons change and life drifts in
I swallow parts of me to give and give and give
The only reality I have not faced yet
Is the fact that I will never have enough left for me?
And that’s when I realize I never belonged to my own
But born to give apiece here and apiece there
How could I emancipate from the life I was born to live?
I guess I’ll never know but hey at least I lived