Pain of Love

Her breath stank of gin and tonic. I was disgusted. I knew where she had been. She was at the bar again. I bet the men were pawing her like always. She never tells them no. As long as they buy her a drink she is happy to let them feel her up, front and back. I hate it when she comes home looking to get the quick fix from me. I know its not me she sees when she closes her eyes. It’s the other men. They all love her. No, they love her body. I hate that she loves their attention. Why can’t I be enough for her? Why can’t she just dance with her girlfriends and ignore those other men? I thought marriage would be fun with her. I thought her days of partying and being the center of attention was over. I thought I was that stable force she said she needed in her life. I guess I am guilty too. I let her leave. I know where she goes. I know it’s not to her friends house. What can I do? Lay down the law and loose her. I don’t want to take anything away from her. I want her to have fun. I just want it to be fun with me. I know she isn’t cheating on me. She wouldn’t want sex with me so much after these little excursions. I wish I could get into that head of hers and find out what it is she gets from these men. I want to give her everything. I want to make her happy.