THERE’S PEOPLE WHO LOOK AT ME LIKE A HERO,
PEOPLE WHO SEE A VILLAIN…A BAD MAN.
I CAN’T SAY I ARGUE WITH THEM,
I KNOW EXACTLY...WHO & WHAT I AM.

I MAY QUESTION WHERE I’M HEADED,
BELIEVE…I KNOW FULL WELL WHERE I’VE BEEN.
I’VE SURVIVED NEAR DEATH…AVOIDED THE PEN…USING MY
PEN,
I DON’T THINK I COULD DO EITHER…EVER AGAIN.

LIFE…IT WOULD SEEM,
IS NOT WITHOUT A CRUEL SENSE OF IRONY.
AS MY PAST THREATENS TO ERADICATE MY PROGRESS,
TOWARDS BECOMING…THE MAN I WANT TO BE.

PERHAPS I DESERVE,
TO SEE MY DREAMS…CIRCLING THE DRAIN.
TO BE HURT…AS I HAVE HURT,
TO BE WITNESS & VICTIM…TO TORTUROUS SUFFERING & PAIN.

PERHAPS I DESERVE TO HAVE MY HEART,
SAVAGELY TORN FROM MY CHEST.
AND WATCH THE PEOPLE I LOVE MOST…LEARN MY SECRETS,
AND ONE BY ONE…WALK AWAY…TILL THERE’S NO ONE LEFT.

AFTER ALL…I’VE LIED TO THEM,
ABOUT WHO & WHAT I AM…ALL THIS TIME.
EXCUSING THE DECEPTION…BY TELLING MYSELF,
I’M NO LONGER THE MAN…WHO COMMITTED SO MANY HEINOUS
CRIMES.

TELLING MYSELF…I BELIEVE ONE DAY I CAN CHANGE,
ONE DAY…IT WON’T MATTER WHAT I’VE DONE.
WITH ENOUGH TIME & GOOD DEEDS,
THE MONSTER WILL BE FORGOTTEN…BY EVERYONE.

EVERYONE BUT ME…HE WILL LIVE IN ME,
AND SHARE MY BREATH…UNTIL I BREATHE NO MORE.
PERHAPS…THE LORD MADE IT THIS WAY,
PERHAPS…THIS IS WHAT THE PAIN I FEEL…IS TRULY FOR.

SO I NEVER FORGET…HOW DANGEROUS I CAN BE,
WHAT I’VE DONE…HOW MANY PEOPLE I’VE HURT.
I QUESTION MY WORDS…METHODS & ACTIONS,
IN HOPES…BETWEEN THE LINES…IT’S NOT ME…AT MY VERY
WORST…