GARDEN PARTAY!!!!, by Moxie Subscribe to rss feed for Moxie

Garden Partay!!!
                        Edward Iacona

I know that names of products
May often be ostentatious
But I never thought that packs of seeds
Could also be so salacious.

Varieties mentioned here are real
And this is what I think...
Many gardeners and farmers
Must enjoy an earthy wink....
To make my point I'll put these names
In quotes or maybe in italic.
And lay aside the obvious view that 
Some veggies look quite phallic.   

There is no doubt that corn
Is known to be singularly nutritious
But what can one say about a corn
That is named "Bi-Licious".  

A common trait I'd l think I'd share
From Puberty to my coffin
Is a link to a certain corn 
Called "Early and Often".

No homophobia amongst the stalks
Or none that I have seen
When one on considers there are types 
Called "Ruby" and "Silver Queen".

There is an egotistical cucumber
Whose statistics really rate...
I shall envy its bragging rights
To being a "Straight Eight"

Virile thoughts of cucumbers
May easily coincide.
When human males at morning
May deal with some "Early Pride"  

There is a carrot called "Big Top"
But here is a cliche that I must repeat...
That size is not a factor so
There is another called "Short and Sweet"

Male prowess claims that men 
Should try to please and perhaps outlast her.
So their cucumber of choice should be
The one that's called "Bushmaster".

When Popeye eats his spinach his
Rescues of Olive Oyl  are less demanding'
But, if he really wants to impress her
There is a type called "Long Standing" 

Ah! the popular pumpkin
Famed for Halloween and pie
But the name "Jack O' Lantern"
May be more than meets the eye.

The apostrophe after the O
Stands for "of" I know that's true
But considering the names I've seen
Do they mean one "F" or two?

Posted: 2010-04-20 04:40:37 UTC

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