I think I was 15 the first time I ran. 
loosing grip of any hand reaching out to me
I was spiraling out of controll,
the storm inside was to much to contend with

I did't plan it out, I just seized
an oppurtunity. Drugs, alcohol
in abundance...freedom from the reality
I did't want to face

I stayed with a girl and her mother.
They taught me how to shoplift.
I was too afraid, untill I watched her.
 
she was so confident so arrogant
her mother must have taught her well.
I tried it, I almost went into convulsions
I was so scared.
But I got away with it
and a new compultion was born.

I was sent home by the athorities,
only to run again.
I was arrested.
so thin, I slid out of the cuffs
and thru them in the cops face.
I was arrested again,
and again after that
 
I was labled wayward and
incorrigible.
Looking at the possability
of a jail for girls like me,
I said a prayer...almost mute
I just wanted happiness,
peace, contentment

It dosn't come from money or drugs
or sex. It dosn't come from being skinny
or white or blond ,they have not brought me joy
of any measure.

being a mother brings joy,
but it also brought about a expitied
jump into adult hood.

I couldnt teach my child to steal
or to run when life is tearing you apart
I had to be an example
yeah, some would think that was a joke
who knew me then
but, I have pulled through
God must have the credit
because I had to go on auto pilot
many times...

He help me, and I did change
I wanted to, or I would have just
reenacted all the terrors I knew
compleating the cycle of abuse
to another generation 
now,its like a liftime ago

just remember... when your young
dont get too stuck were you are
because things change, fast!
in just a few years you may not
even recognize yourself as you stand 
right now...with tears, and heartache.

You can change, you can be happy 
as absurd or trite as it sounds
It does get better...if better is 
what you want, and are willing
to put excruciating pain into.
It beats hells open arms
beconing you to jump
its worth a try to send up
that almost mute prayer for help
heaven just waits for the nod
to come to your rescue
ultimately its your choice

"weeping may endure for a night
but joy comes in the morning..."