Sometimes when I can't find myself
I turn to you
You often sit in silence and
I feel asthough I bleed upon the floor
And you just sit there
Like all the times before.

I change the channel
but the show is all the same
distorted, without sound...
I try to make the picture clear
But the fuzzy reception
Is of your fault my dear.

I scream as loud
As I possibly can.
You stare at me in wonder
Do you even care?
I cry alone at night
Wishing you were there.

Sometimes I wonder
What it would be like
That is... my life, 
to have never seen your face...
I feel empty at the thought
As I do not know my place.

I feel as though
you are the solid ground.
And I am free enough
safe enough, to run.
But you don't want me..
And you are my only one.

When you shook me from
the perception that I had
I bagan to depisre you
You make me so sad.
I promised that nobody
Would ever have my heart
For If they do not have it
They cannot tear it apart.

You decieved me,
And warmed me through and through
I thought I found something different
Something good with you.

Now every night
Is the darkest
I am always afraid...
And you just sit there
you get angry when I ask,
But do you even care?

Dear Jonathan.
You will never understand
Exactly what I meant
when I said that I love you.
It's a shame too really,
cuz I really really do. 

xox-Ellie