Scenery

I stand, in an open castle, with no roof to block the heavens. The sun shines down on me, illuminating my insecure body and casting a shadow upon the ground. The walls rise up above me, to stop me from getting out but still allowing my privacy and deceiving freedom. The walls unfortunately show little signs of ever breaking loose, but the screen doors open a new day of imagination to me, haunting a way out of my unhappiness. I’m standing in the middle of a small, awkward room, looking about so many pricey things. Items that make me queen above most, but items that I would easily give away for the wrong inside my heart. I breathe in, my heart beating faster with every thought and scent of the lie I wish to behold. But then I gaze across the room at four carefully screened doors, one to each wall, with scenery behind them all, mocking my entire being. I wish to run to each door, claw at the mesh that hides me from my life. The chains that seem so easy to break, but stone enough to block me from what I desire the most. I stare, at the cool, lush grass peering out under the blue sky, creating a stairway of green on the mountain side. And it feels for now, that those priceless and beautiful luxuries which hide behind those screened doors; I will forever covet, and never know. But where, beyond those screen doors, does the world uncover itself to my mind? It will not be the way I describe it, there is no heaven on earth, nor any perfect. The mesh covers lines of the scenery, blinding my view. The life, I’ve so boldly lived, has never seemed greater than the temptation that still lives beyond these walls. I’ve forever stood in this room, with the sky raining down the things I desire. When will I accept and desire what I already have? For many a time has God struck me, for turning away and forgetting what he gives. But even then, the walls always protected me, and comforted me with great strength.