First and Last

She kissed him For the first time For the last time In the early darkness Of the morning that had come far too late Her courage had been shattered By something not so kind And he had restored it By merely listening By merely holding her And by merely being a friend It was not until now that she found her voice The voice inside her that said Love Let it go Love And don't be afraid They were sitting together The library of the boarding school was dark And they had met there to talk He had asked her She had come He knew she was falling for him Falling hard Falling fast But he could not let it go any farther He had a secret Something in his past Something he could not let go of She kissed him in the darkness She thought it was for the best Her words had failed her So she turned to her actions And he gently pushed her away He told her what he had to He bared his past to her And turned away She stepped up behind him Lay her hand on his shoulder And leaned her head against his back He walked forward He knew he had to And she followed She came to stand in front of him She stroked his cheek with care Her soft fingers sent shivers down his spine She lifted his chin Looked into his eyes Saw through his shame And spoke in a whisper "I don't care what happened This is now Then has passed And cannot be undone" He shook his head And left the room She collapsed in a heap of skirts and lace Sobbing to the floor Her heart rent in half By the one who had helped it to heal Not two minutes later She heard a shot And ran from the room To Find Him Dead She stared at the pistol Slowly picked it up And wondered why And what she should do If anything Her tears sprang forth a little delayed She turned the weapon over in her hand Took a breath of deep sadness and remorse Blamed herself for his death Walked to the window looking six stories down And thought about the students She would have to face In just a few hours She took a few paces back Threw the gun out the window And shortly thereafter Followed it