I feel myself getting colder in an attempt to push you away

I am trying to get in a frame of mind that tells me that i
do not need you

but.........

the truth is i love you so much it scares me

i love you 
i need you 
i want  you forever

but................

i will keep thi sto myself and you will not know
i will keep pretending to be strong
so i grow colder