everytime you look at me
i feel like you can see
right through my clothes
you eyes, they close
and i just know you're
remembering that night
friends and more
it just felt right
can everyone here read it
all over my face?
is there no secret
that im disgraced?
mis-sentence you kissed
me and i was caught
off-guard; i dont want this
but how can i not?
everything comes rushing
back; stifled love for
friendship
forgotten, as your hand,
brushing
my cheek, cups my chin, your
lips
on mine, aggressively
crushing
my mouth; and i try to regain
my composure, i try
but concede to your tongue
again
a hand slips to my thigh
sweet murmurs to my ear
she missed me...
her hand wipes away a tear
my feelings pour free
i've never trusted anyone
with as much as i give you
i want to jump and run
to pretend we're through
but we do exist
the electricity flows
i want this
and i think she knows...
from across the way
you catch my eye
i blush and look away
god dont make me cry...
concerned you
sit at my side;
face drawn with worry
i want to confide
i want to lie against your
chest, baring myself entirely
its you i adore
as much as it kills me
instead i shrug your arm
off my shoulders, ignore
the hurt in your eyes, your
charm
it wont work anymore
love leads to hurt
unbearable loss
incredible dirt
its too high a cost
you pull me from the couch,
fast,
into the crowd of dancers
here there are no questions
to which i have no answers
the tempo slows, couples
draw near
the song is too sad, i start to
leave
you grab my arm, intentions
clear
i rest my cheek upon your
sleeve
your perfume, your feel
hands tight around my waiste
its all so surreal
fingers around your neck;
interlaced
we edge closer, till
there is no space between
the music comes to a still
upward you lean
the position familiar, we melt
cautiously into one
feelings we each have felt
unaware the song
done
my heart races, until you
pause
grabbing my hand
we blush at the applause
from our friends and the
band
god everyone knows!
together, this never ends
you continue to kiss me from
right where you froze
in front of all our friends!
mortified i push you off, too
proud
here come the hoots and
howls
from the crowd
i flash a fierce scowl
my eyes leak
blurring my sight
if i werent so weak
i'd have put up a fight
down the steps and
across the lawn
the party roars including the
band
i have no ride; my friends are
all "gone"
i sit on the curb, sobbing
confused and alone
my lips still throbbing
god i wanna go home
why does everything
especially amore
end up ripping me apart?
punturing my core?
why am i ruled by heart?
for all i try with all my might
to stop love from ruling
it seems a pointless
fight
the sorrow keeps pooling
further, deeper i descend
alone in my thoughts, wishing
for an impartial friend
to just hold me, sobbing
trembling, shaking
i rise and head in
everyone can tell im faking
this pathetically small grin
my eyes are red,
face flushed
at all the things you;ve said
my heart can no longer trust
the walls race upward
protecting my soul
tears course downward
outta my normal role
i wish for a friend, pray
who wouldnt hate me
god i need to pray
after they read this theyd
say
nothing, but hug me;
tell me itll be ok
but i havent one
who can see me cry
who wont judge what ive done
so i wait, alone, to die
i'd gain some rest
end the hammering pain
that devours my chest
my heart cant take the strain
its already broken
well beyond repair
leave love unspoken
i wish someone would care
but no one does
im not worth it
no one will
i carry to much shit
considering committing...
the pain it runs so deep...
pressing, screaming slitting,
bleeding to eternal sleep.
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