Grandma Schizophrenia, by Sandwich Massacre Subscribe to rss feed for Sandwich Massacre

grandma was a happy schizophrenic
she was never bored
she talked to the mirror
she talked to the floor
she swore that the three coyotes
 named harald, simon and bill
told her about dead puppies
every night at her window sill
and the dead puppies were actually not dead puppies
 for they were just a clan
of one eyed purple kitty cats
that came to earth to destroy man
despite the coyotes warnings 
grandma didn't have a care in the world
for she was guarded by martian golems 
and she swore she was super girl
she even wore the tights 
and ran in on gas station thefts
she jumped on bad guys till she broke her back 
which led her to her death
so this happy schizophrenic
lived an adventurous life
she wrestled crocodiles
and swam with sharks
she was even bill gate's wife
she swore she had the riches 
that anyone would dream
for she was an exotic dancing ballerina 
and she invented whipped cream
so at grandma's funeral 
everyone would say
this woman was a psycho 
for thinking that on februaries she was Man Ray
but she was still quite the photographer 
and though we couldn't see her friends
why did she have so much money 
and why was there coyote hair in her bed?
although she was really old 
the news reporters say
3 banks were saved from robbery 
by a woman in red tights and hair gray
so despite her psychotic tendencies
her entire family knew
that grandma's adventures and shenanigans 
just might be kind of true
they buried her in the cemetery 
and her tombstone does read
"don't judge me by my actions and words 
judge by what you've seen"
and so on that same day her daughter went into labor 
and gave birth to a healthy girl
at the age of 4 she drew pictures of coyotes and golems 
and dreamed of saving the world
by 7 she was diagnosed 
with early stages of schizophrenia
for listening to the coyotes that told her 
to save people with bulemia
she approached these skinny people 
and said that they must have food
they must escape from what is holding them
they must be in a joyous mood
for they have 3 dead puppies 
chewing at their feet
and it is these 3 dead puppies 
that make them throw up their meat
and the remedy is to wear clean 
socks and chew on their toes
and balance carrot sticks with strawberry marshmellow fluff

on top of their nose
she swore up and down that it was the cure 
and that no one could see
:these dead puppies on the bulemic's feet 
one two three
she was on medications 
but each family member knew
:grandma's powers were past down to her 
and she would one day save the world
2004
Posted: 2005-11-06 16:44:29 UTC

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2005-10-27 21:51:57. QUEENIE .
that was really cool. props.