My thoughts are not controled by me..., by B3(k$_Broken13 Subscribe to rss feed for B3(k$_Broken13

 i know this is not a poem exactly, but i suffer from
sicknesses that make me sufer from these and i watnted
others to know... please read... dont shun me, or make fun
of me... i just want others to know what all gos on..





I hear these voices in my head,
they drown everything else out,
they are like chains on my choices,
they took control and will never give it up.

they tell me to do as they say,
i am thier prisoner,
i must obey,
i must do as i am told,
i have no say,
i am not aloud to tell anyone about them.

i see them sometimes...
at the end of the hall,
in my dreams, 
my head,
even in front of me.

they come as this man who rules them all,
he tells me that i must listen,
i wake screaming...crying,
scared of the figment of my imagination will kill me if i
shut my eyes again.

He controls how i feel,
how i think,
how i act,
how i speak,
it makes me sad,
to be like puppet in his own little show.

he tells me i cant get better,
that there is no use trying,
that fighting only makes it worse,
that he cant be beat.

He tells me that the doctors are lying,
that they fill my head with lies to try to beat him,
he says he keeps me safe,
he says he is my friend,
but i know deep down he is lying,
i cant fight him,
i am a weak fawn to his mighty power.

i cant fight him, i cant do anything...

i must let him do as he pleases.. 

my thoughts are not controlled by me...
Posted: 2010-04-26 04:43:24 UTC

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2010-04-27 01:26:37 ~~~~GLOSTARG~~~~
very impressive writing. Your writing from your experiences are really going to help you. You're in my prayers if that is ok with you. :)

2010-05-12 11:13:24jaydeetee
I love the honesty in this and that shows that you know your wrongdoings and why they happen. That, to me, is half the battle when a person is trying to cure themself of something. I hope you find your answer and can take control of your thoughts in the future. Well written.

2010-05-22 02:32:47Disruptive Silence
this poem really expresses the problems that are beyond your control. just know things get better. u will be in my prayers

2010-06-18 22:21:49B3(k$_Broken13
thaank you all who have commented... i really appreciate being in your prayers... so kind and thanks... i am trying to get better

2010-06-22 13:56:19Ky Moet
wow this is powerful. i will put the word out.