xx aLL My TRue FeeLiNGS xx (please help), by **The Rose that Blooms from the Heart** Subscribe to rss feed for **The Rose that Blooms from the Heart**

i always seem to find myself
surrounded by people
but still feel so alone
we talk to each other
but my words seem meaningless to you
and yet full of meaning to me 

all i ever seem to do is cry
i do not cut
because i know 
i will regret it

you know that i like you
but you have said nothing about it
it is torcher to me
just waiting for a responce
as soon as you found out
you seemed to talk to me more
but are you just mocking me
or do you like me back
do you like someone else
and just want to be friends
or do you just hate me
maybe i am just invisible to you
to everyone

no one understands how it feels
to be alone in a swarm of people
or to be drowning
in thin air

i am my own best friend
because i am the only one
who understands me
and yet i dont

why cant i be happy
or full of joy
all the time
as once said before
my smile is my biggest lie
and for me it truly is
i have plenty of friends
who see my smile everyday
but they dont see what is behind it
there are tears and pain
fears and suffering
i want a friend who asks whats wrong
when i seem so happy
it takes a true friend 
to see what is behind the mask
i have not found that person yet
but i cant wait until i do
because that person will listen
and make the pain
and suffering go away

i need someone to truly love me
and not just say they do
i need to see their love
trapped in their eyes
heart and soul

my time is running fast
my life is dying slow
i need someone to help me
so i dont end my life first
before the angel of death can


**this is not just a story, these are my inner thoughts that
no one ever sees in me. they think i am some hyper, life
loving girl who wont go past the limit, they dont think i
have the guts or feelings to do it. i have cut my self
before, and i regret it. i know that if i kill myself i will
regret it. but if i just end my life then all the bastards
in the world will regret ever teasing me and callling me
names. all my pain will go away as i drift slowly into the
light, we call death.**
Posted: 2008-01-02 05:53:37 UTC

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2008-01-10 21:34:13Sheila
A person can not really love another.Until they love their own self. People often make the mistake of thinking that a relationship will make them whole.Making them happy. Sad but true when the relationship ends.They're lonely again. In the end it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you but you. You are the one, who has to live with you. So what does it matter what anyone else thinks? When they laugh at you look at'em and say," And your opinion means what?"

2008-01-10 23:28:30**The Rose that Blooms from the Heart**
no i dont think you really understand. i just want answers from the guy i like 1st of all. and i just want someone to love me. not in the boyfrind girlfriend way. its in a different way. well actually in any way would be good but i want it to be true love. like sisters or siblings that dont fight and will do anything for each other. like a gaurdian angel. thats wat i need. especially right now.

2008-01-18 03:27:00Simply-Me-20104
Hi, my name is Chelsea, and wheather some believe it or not, I do understand you. I understand how you think, how you feel. You may think that I'm just saying this, but I've been there. When you reach what you think is the bottom, you always have to look for the light. There is something in all of our lives that is worth living for. Whether it is yourself, your future, or even neices and nephews like it is for me, you have to be strong. Poetry is a great step, because you learn you're not alone. Although I do agree with Sheila, the person that must come first is you! It's hard to be a people pleaser, but it's also hard to be alone! Just know, that someone around you, wheather you expect it or not, loves you. You may just be the light that someone else is looking for, just wait for it, the time will come! Learn, and move on. Take these hard times as a lesson, write out your heart, let it flow, but always stay true to you! I'm sorry if this is of no help, but please know there are people like me who care! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to write me!!